Anxiety is a natural, though often uncomfortable, feeling of worry, nervousness, or fear when we face situations we cannot fully control. It is part of our body’s way of helping us prepare for challenges.

Before a stressful event, like an exam, a job interview, or meeting new people, you might notice your heart beating faster, your breathing quickening, and your mind racing. This is your body getting ready to respond to what it perceives as a challenge or threat.

Sometimes the “threat” is obvious, such as presenting in front of a group of people. Other times, it is more subtle, for example, attending a social gathering might feel like a big test of how you’ll be perceived, bringing on the same physical responses.

In the short term, anxiety can affect sleep, appetite, and concentration. Once the situation passes, the anxiety usually fades.

The “What If?” Loop

Anxiety often comes with a stream of “what if?” thoughts, such as:

• What if I fail?

• What if they do not like me?

• What if something goes wrong?

It can be triggered by new experiences such as starting a new school, moving to a different neighbourhood, or even watching a scary movie. This is a normal human response.

What is anxiety telling us?

Anxiety is important because it is part of our body’s built-in warning and preparation system.

At its core, anxiety is trying to communicate:

• “Something might threaten your safety or wellbeing.” It alerts us to potential danger or challenge, whether physical (a fast-approaching car) or social (a difficult conversation).

• “You may need to prepare or act.” Anxiety boosts alertness, sharpens focus, and mobilises energy so we can respond more effectively.

• “Pay attention to this.” It highlights situations, decisions, or uncertainties that matter to us.

In a healthy range, anxiety is protective. It helps us avoid harm, prepare for important events, and adapt to change. 

It becomes unhelpful when the alarm keeps ringing too loudly, too often, or in situations that are not actually dangerous. Then it can stop us from thinking clearly, taking action, or living the life we want.

When Anxiety Becomes a Disorder

Anxiety becomes a concern when it:

• Happens without a clear cause

• Continues long after the trigger is gone

• Feels out of proportion to the situation

• Stops someone from doing everyday activities or things they enjoy

Anxiety disorders involve intense, overwhelming fear that can be triggered by specific things such as spiders, heights, or dogs, or by more general situations such as public speaking, illness, or loss.

Types of Anxiety Disorders

Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Ongoing worry about many everyday things, with a sense of being unable to control the worry. This constant anxiety often affects sleep, concentration, and overall wellbeing.

Social Anxiety: Intense fear of embarrassment or judgment in social situations, leading to avoidance. This can significantly impact relationships, education, and participation in everyday activities.

Separation Anxiety: Experiencing intense distress when apart from loved ones, most commonly seen in children separated from parents or caregivers. The reaction is greater than expected for the person’s age and can interfere with daily activities, such as attending school or visiting friends.

Phobias: Extreme, irrational fear of a specific object or situation, for example, birds, water, or heights. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviours that interfere with daily life.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): Intrusive thoughts, obsessions and/or ritualistic behaviours, or compulsions that causes extreme anxiety. These behaviours are often repeated to reduce distress, even when the person recognises they are excessive.

Common Signs and Symptoms

• Feeling something bad is about to happen

• Shaking, sweating, dizziness, or vertigo

• Stomach aches, headaches, or chest pain

• Feeling out of control and unable to think clearly

• Avoiding situations or objects that trigger fear

Panic Attacks

A panic attack is an extreme version of the body’s fear response. Symptoms can include:

• Rapid heartbeat

• Shortness of breath

• Sweating and nausea

• Dizziness

• Fear of losing control or dying

These episodes usually peak within 10 minutes and fade within about 30 minutes, but can feel exhausting. People often avoid situations linked to past panic attacks.

If you experience a panic attack:

• Stop what you are doing and, if possible, tell someone nearby.

• Focus on your breathing and try grounding techniques until you feel calmer.

• If you feel you might harm yourself or others, call 111 immediately.

Grounding technique example:

Look around you, while you breathe as calmly as you can, and notice:

• 5 things you can see,

• 4 things you can feel,

• 3 things you can hear,

• 2 things you can smell, and

• 1 thing you can taste.

Repeat if needed.

How to Support Someone Who Is Anxious

• Anxiety is not broken; it is a protection system that has become overactive. Acknowledge and validate what they are feeling rather than dismissing it.

• Face it together. Offer reassurance and stay calm, rather than trying to “rescue” or minimise their feelings.

• Teach coping skills in calm moments. Breathing and grounding techniques work best when introduced before anxiety strikes.

• Your calm matters. A steady, supportive presence helps them feel safe enough to practise courage.

Getting Help

Anxiety disorders can often be treated effectively with therapy, lifestyle changes, relaxation techniques, and in some cases, medication.

If you or someone you know is experiencing persistent or severe anxiety, reach out to a GP, counsellor, or mental health professional for support.

Useful links:

Anxiety In Children | KidsHealth New Zealand's Trusted Voice On Children's Health

Anxiety In Children | School Age | Kidspot NZ

Anxiety | Mental Health Foundation

Dealing with Anxiety in Children & Teens - Hey Sigmund

Obsessive compulsive disorder | Mental Health Foundation

Listening to Families